For better or worse (but probably better?), I have never seen a 'Twilight' movie before right now. Today, I am watching the first three films in lead-up to Wednesday night's New York preview screening of 'The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1,' and liveblogging the experience right here. I'll be checking the comments if you have any words of explanation or encouragement and will do my best respond to you in the post -- that is if I'm not too caught up in this love story for the ages. OK, let's start this thing with ... 'Twilight.'
12:09 p.m. OK! 'New Moon' time. Let's jump over there.
12:06 p.m. These end credits are awful. Honestly, this is the worst part of the movie.
12:05 p.m. I have now seen 'Twilight.'
12:01 p.m. I have so many questions. I'm so confused.
11:59 a.m. In 'New Moon,' do we actually get to see Jacob's haircut? If so, I look forward to that.
11:57 a.m. I've never -- in any movie, ever -- seen someone stammer the word "no" more than bedridden Bella just did.
@Steffi Two Bits: I don't know what any of that means!
11:52 a.m. Suck the venom out? Honestly, in any situation, does this work?
11:51 a.m. "Bella needs you." I just watched 45 straight seconds of Robert Pattinson's "I'm conflicted" face.
11:49 a.m. When Bella read the "How to Injure a Vampire" handbook, at what point did she read, "Mace"?
11:46 a.m. I have to watch three more 'Twilight' movies today.
11:45 a.m. And what vampire would travel to Phoenix to find her? "Eh, I'm sure there's no sun there. It will be fine."
11:44 a.m. Bella is apparently in Phoenix right now? I've been to Phoenix many times. Phoenix has never looked this blue.
11:42 a.m. I mean, everything that Bella does in this movie makes absolutely no sense. People realize this, right?
@rose: I know! Uniforms!
11:39 a.m. Bella just asked, "Like watch baseball on the flat screen?" to the Mustachioed Jimmy Fallon. Seriously! What is going on with the baseball?!
11:37 a.m. It wasn't until this baseball scene that I really started thinking, "What is going on here?" I mean, REALLY, who just plays a pickup game of baseball? Do you know how hard that is? And how many people you need to play the game properly? And the bad guys ruin it by threatening to play? I mean, come on Edward, you needed the extra players.
@Mr.Strawberry: Oh, God, you may be right.
11:33 a.m. I'm not sure that this movie is very good.
11:31 a.m. "Since when do vampires play baseball?" Bella, I think vampires are the ONLY people who still get together to just randomly play a baseball game.
11:30 a.m. Now Bella is going to play baseball with her new vampire friends. I had zero idea this movie had this much to do with baseball. Why didn't anyone tell me this?
11:29 a.m. Does this mean Luke Perry is a vampire?
11:28 a.m. Do all vampires have great hair like that?
11:25 a.m. I love this not-at-all-related subplot involving Bella's mom and something about baseball. I would watch a movie about that.
11:23 a.m. I really wish Bella would settle down with this Mike fellow. He seems nice. Is there any chance of that happening?
11:22 a.m. Yep, I will need every single ounce of all of this.
11:20 a.m. Spider monkey?
11:16 a.m. If I'm Bella, at this point at dinner I'm thinking, "OK, I'm the new girl. I wonder if every new student gets hazed with this elaborate 'Edward is a vampire' trick."
@bobbi: Exactly!
11:13 a.m. To be fair: I made that last statement before Edward compared human blood to tofu.
11:10 a.m. After more than an hour into this, I will admit: Robert Pattinson is a handsome man.
11:08 a.m. I feel like Edward was just showing off during most of that scene. "Oh, look at me, I burn..."
From Katey Rich in the comments: "They make bumper stickers that say 'Warning: I Drive like a Cullen.' So apparently cars and/or parking lots really are a vampire thing."
11:04 a.m. Or, "you're beautiful."
11:04 a.m. I have to agree with Edward here: once he started burning in the sun, my first thought wasn't "diamonds."
11:03 a.m. I don't quite understand why Edward went into dick mode once he told Bella -- or made Bella tell him -- his secret.
10:57 a.m. Edward drives the opposite car of what I always pictured a vampire would drive. Then again, I've never put too much thought into the subject.
@RewindStopPlay: Please don't tell me these things.
10:53 a.m. Is that a vampire thing that I'm not aware of. Parking lot rescues?
10:52 a.m. I will say this about Edward, after he rescued Bella in, yet again, another parking lot: He is an exceptional driver.
10:48 a.m. Even after cleaning the DVD, Anna Kendrick is still, for some reason, in this movie.
10:47 a.m. Something I never thought I would do in my life: desperately clean a DVD of Twilight so that I could get to the next scene uninterrupted.
10:42 a.m. I finally figured out who Lautner reminds me of: Ron Slater from 'Dazed and Confused'.
10:39 a.m. Well, other than Sandy Hook, NJ.
10:39 a.m. This is the most depressing beach that I've ever seen.
10:38 a.m. Honestly, if I'm Bella, I would be A LOT more suspicious of Edward's "kick the apple off my foot trick" than I would the whole minivan incident.
@Shadow Writer: Have you ever heard Ford's 'Blade Runner' voiceover? The one he purposely tanked and it was later removed from the movie?
10:34 a.m. My favorite scene so far is the one in which Bella confronts Edward about the parking lot and how she didn't tell anyone and he responds, "Go ahead, no one would believe you." He should have added, "Well, except for those 30 witnesses since we were in a crowded school parking lot, but other than them -- no one will believe you."
10:31 a.m. I can't get it out of my head that the guy playing Bella's dad is Jimmy Fallon with a fake mustache.
10:28 a.m. The most remarkable thing about Edward saving Bella in the parking lot is that I've never in my life seen one of those minivans travel that fast.
10:26 a.m. Oh, God, am I starting to care about the plot of this movie?
10:26 a.m. So, Wikipedia just told me that Edward is 108 years old. Why is he in high school school? I'm sure this is explained, but wouldn't that be boring?
10:23 a.m. Honestly, so far, the worst part about this is Kristen Stewart's voiceover -- which I can only guess she learned to do at the "Harrison Ford 'Blade Runner' School of How to Phone in a Voiceover."
@Shadow Writer: Not quite yet.
10:18 a.m. Who is the creepy guy who once played Santa? By default, he is my favorite character so far in 'Twilight.'
10:17 a.m. And there's the actor that I know best as Jacob from 'Water for Elephants.' I love that he gets a cool guitar riff as he enters the lunch room. I want that from now on when I enter the office.
10:14 a.m. I had always heard that Anna Kendrick was in these movies, but I had always chosen not to believe that. But, yet, there she is.
10:12 a.m. The word "Chillax" was just used.
10:11 a.m. Why is Taylor Lautner wearing one of Cher's wigs? I'm being serious. Please answer this!
10:10 a.m. "The best thing about Charlie is that he doesn't hover." Is that a power?
10:06 a.m. The movie starts! There's a deer. And it's fast. Is that 'Twilight'? Is this a movie about deer? I'm OK, with that, actually.
10:04 a.m. Apparently 'Push' came out in 2009. I haven't seen that either. Why can't I liveblog 'Push'?
10:02 a.m. I just had to sit through a trailer for a Chris Evans movie called "push.' Looks promising!
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[Photo: Summit Entertainment]